


this

by casthazar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14x20 coda, M/M, The Empty, Trying to Cope, lol, this wont happen this is just me um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casthazar/pseuds/casthazar
Summary: end of the world, huh? things could still be worse—at least they have each other. they have this.





	this

“Cas?” Dean’s voice softly echoed from the other side of the door, “Can I, uh, come in for a minute?”

Slowly, Cas made his way towards the door. He opened it as quietly as possible for no other reason than the simple need for some sort of peace.

Dean looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags under his eyes were worse than ever. He looked like he has been crying for hours—Hell, he probably had been; not that he would ever admit it.

“Hey, buddy.” Dean gently began, “You...You doing okay?”

“No, I. I’m not, Dean.” Cas managed to state.

Dean took in the sight in front of him. Cas—his Cas—was an absolute wreck. Not only was his—correction: their—son gone from their grasp, Mary had previously died as well. Not to mention, Cas’ father brought upon a seemingly unstoppable final chapter to this universe. The book was going to close, whether they wanted it to or not.

Softly, Dean took in a deep breath, bringing his hand to the back of his own neck.

“Yeah, me neither.” Dean began before scoffing, “Never thought things would end like this. I mean, I did, but. Not really.”

Somehow, Dean was sitting on the edge of Cas’ bed now. As well, Cas had sat down beside him. They both stared blankly at the wall in front of them—truly soaking up all that had unfolded within the past twenty-four hours.

Cas stole what was meant to be a quick glance in Dean’s direction; said glance turned into a wide-eyed stare down between Cas and Dean’s bloody neck.

“You’re hurt.” Cas stated with a thick layer of dread in his voice, “Let me heal you, Dean.”

“No, it’s fine—I’m fine, okay?” Dean assured him, “Just. I want you to rest up, alright? Today hasn’t been easy for any of us—especially you. I, I know what the kid meant to you. I should’ve fought harder for him, I’m—“

“Dean.”

“What?”

“It’s okay. This isn’t your fault.” Cas began, “If blame needs to be placed, I should be the victim of its wrath. I—I never should have tried contacting God. I was just, I was beyond desperate. I needed to fight for him.” 

Cas held his head in his hands, his breathing quickened; he could feel the tears that were just on the brink of boiling over. It was all too much—Jack, Mary, God, the Apocalypse, Sam was hurt; and even now, he wasn’t sure if Dean hated his guts.

“Hey,” Dean soothed, “None of this is your fault, Cas. You did everything you could for him. In the end—Heh, literally—it just wasn’t enough. But that isn’t on you. None of this is and...I’m sorry if I, y’know, made you feel like it was. I was just...Overwhelmed. I’m sorry, Cas, I—I really messed up.”

Cas turned his head towards Dean and gave a meek smile; it was moments like this that reminded him of why he chose to live here with Sam and Dean. The ability of feelings—the weight they can hold over your head. The meaning of it all. 

“I have to admit, you were what you call a...” Cas smirked weakly, “Jackass.”

Dean smiled back at him in the same way—there was always something about hearing an angel swear at him that made him laugh. 

“Yeah, I was.” Dean turned back towards the wall, the small smirk still apparent.

Cas continued to stare at him for a few seconds until gently placing his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean slowly turned towards the hand atop his shoulder, then back up to Cas’ eyes. 

There was something so serene about staring into Cas’ eyes. It was like an ocean swaying back and forth; no matter how many times the tide comes and goes, it’ll always come back just the same. Those very eyes that pierced through Hell and saved him from, well, whatever the hell would have happened to him down there. 

Dean breathed in and clenched his jaw as Cas blinked; the hypnosis fading away.

“Stay.” Dean whispered.

“What?” Cas blinked a second time.

Dean sighed, looking up towards the ceiling—Thanks for literally nothing, Chuck.

“Dean?” Cas questioned again.

“Just. Stay.” Dean croaked out.

“Well, where else would I be?” Cas stated matter-of-factly. Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and almost began speaking again until, “This is my room after all. If anyone were to leave, it would be you.”

Dean stared at him gobsmacked for a moment, only to laugh softly and shake his head. “Cas, that’s not—“

Cas only stared back at him, his usual confused look overtaking him.

“‘Cas, I love you. I meant stay here. With me.’ It’s not that hard, man. Just let it out already—You could literally die at any moment now.” Dean thought to himself.

Dean sat there, considering how to phrase his feelings in a manner that Cas could understand easily.

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas inquired, quickly placing two fingers on Dean’s forehead.

Dean rolled his eyes and reached up to hold Cas’ hands in his own.

“Cas, I’m fine. I meant—“ Dean swallowed another lump before he intertwined their fingers, “I meant this. Stay.”

Cas stared back at him, his eyes deep and wild with confusion. “Dean, are you—“

“I love you, Cas.” Dean breathed out, the weight on his shoulders suddenly collapsing. “I figured, y’know, end of the world. What have I got to lose?” A small smile peaked on Dean’s face, making Cas smile softly in return.

Cas glanced down at their interlocked fingers, making an even bigger smile rise to his face.

“This,” Cas said, “this is the only place I would ever want to be.” 

Dean’s mouth hung open slightly, a light blush enveloping his cheeks. Dean held back a soft and awkward chuckle, making Cas’ heartbeat speed up. 

End of the world, huh? Things could still be worse—at least they have each other. They have this.

Suddenly, the world stopped. Literally.

The ringing of the Bunker’s furnace, the air flowing through the room came to a halt; as well, the soft hum of Sam sleeping down the hallway faltered as well.

Through wide eyes, Cas looked around the room; Dean was just as confused. The two of them scanned the room for any answer as to what’s happening?

Cas gasped softly, just quiet enough that Dean couldn’t hear him. 

In the corner of Cas’ room, The Shadow stood there, chuckling, “It’s time, Castiel. Come with mommy.” 

Cas shut his eyes—he wanted nothing more than to stay here with Dean; to keep him safe. Deals are deals though, he knew that too well. Even if it were one now seemingly made in vain.

For one last time, Cas stared back at Dean. Clearly, Dean was unable to see the Shadow like Cas was—he preferred it that way anyways. Dean was hurt; and knowing him, he would do whatever he could to fight the Shadow off. Cas breathed in this final moment with Dean, gently he whispered one final goodbye.

“I love you.”

Then, yet again, time started up again. 

“The hell was that about?” Dean questioned, still looking in the opposite direction from Cas.

When no reply was heard, Dean slowly turned his head towards where Cas should be seated—beside him. Instant panic overcame Dean’s entire being.

Cas was gone.

His time was due.


End file.
